Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Our dudes vs. their dudes

Who do yankee fans have to cheer for? I mean really cheer for from the heart? Hardly anybody. Maybe Posada, Rivera, and Bernie. But that's it.
Jeter? Well the 14 year old girls are still screaming for him, but most yankee fans now know he's just not that good.
Giambi? He replaced their boy Tino, and now that the world knows he's on 'roids, I think he's gonna hear some boos in the Bronx. (Especially when his average drops below the Mendoza.) The pitching staff? Besides Mussina and Rivera, they're all new. And what's with the New York media raving about Gordon and Quantrill? And saying that with those two, the starters only need to go six innings? I thought George just got those guys because they're ex-Sox, not because they're any good.
Who else? 2nd base, um, they got nobody there....
Matsui? I don't think they're sold on him, let alone connected to the guy in any way.
Sheffield and A-Rod? Remember I said hearts not wallets.
The point is, all their beloved are gone: Pettitte, O'Neill, Brosius, Wells. Oh I forgot about Kenny Lofton--yeah he'll be a fan favorite.

Now look at our guys:
Tek-awesome dude, best catcher we've seen in years, able to handle the best staff in baseball, HUSTLES.
Millar-To quote Bill Hicks, "That's the dude!"
Pokey Reese-alright, we haven't seen him yet, but my dad has already given him the honorary "And a little child shall lead them" tag. (Previously held by Jody Reed, Luis Rivera, Jeff Frye, among others).
Bill Mueller-comes out of nowhere to win the batting title, 100% effort guy. (And his and Trot's Jesusness nicely compliment the Satanic hijinks of Millar & Co.
Manny-we don't all see eye to eye with Manny, but you gotta admit he's a fun-lovin' guy.
JC, I mean JD- Another all-around goofy, awesome guy.
Trot-his hat's almost as dirty as mine.
Ortizzle- what else can I say? Not apple sox, not barbecue sox...
Kapler-took less to stay with us.
Pedro-again, c'mon.
Schill- already determined to bring us what we want for him, the team and US.
Lowe-this guy got us out of Oakland alive.
Timlin-turned down the yanks.
Wake-he better get the biggest standing O of them all on Opening Day.
The Professor and Mary-Ann.

This team rules.

I know what a yankee fan would say about this. And I don't care.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States