Sunday, March 28, 2004

Some General y*nkee Idiocy

Watched the Sox play the y*nks on the 'Hell, No' Network the other night. This was the game where A-Rod got hit in the face. Not quite as good as seeing Zimmer rolling around, but it made my night. Anyway, I'm not gonna go into all the misinformation I had to put up with this time, I'll save it for the regular season. But just two things:

1. In the 1st inning, the announcers, Michael "K-A-Y spells God" Kay, and Jim Kaat, actually gave credit to Gabe Kapler for hitting a ball over the center fielder's head despite the wind blowing IN.... But when the next batter, Bill Mueller, hit one deep to left, Kay said on his call that the wind carried the ball to the wall. He quickly said after the play something to the effect of, "We've gotta update this wind situation."
It's almost like he instinctively told us that the wind took the ball toward the wall just because the y*nks' opponents hit it, but then realized, Whoops, I just told everybody that the wind was blowing in--thirty seconds ago. I'm tellin' you, this man needs help.

2. Jim Kaat, who normally is, to me, the least offensive, and smartest of the y*nkee announcing 'arse'-enal, made one of the all time goofs. He started saying how he couldn't wait to see the T-shirts up at Fenway in April, because of the whole A-Rod situation. (I can't either.) Then he says, "....they've already got these shirts that say, '1918: Babe, Bucky, Buckner'." And I thought to myself, Did he just say that those stupid shirts are worn by RED SOX fans? Nah, couldn't be. But then he brings it up later in the game. They show a guy in the crowd with one on, and Kaat writes in "Boone" on the telestrator,below the "Buckner", saying this is the updated version of the shirt, still acting like this is a shirt a Sox fan would wear! Kay actually had to bail him out! Kay says, "I THINK these are y*nkee shirts, because those are all bad memories for Red Sox fans." I honestly can't believe Kaat could be so stupid. I mean that is STOOOOPID. Like his brain fell out for a little while or something, or he was drunk, it just makes no sense. It's like saying the Green Monster is y*nkee Stadium's most historic and well-loved feature.

When I got the idea to post Misinformation Updates, for some reason I thought finding enough fault with y*nkee announcers and New York media to actually write down on a semi-regular basis might be hard, even though I've experienced it my whole life. I don't know why I thought that. I'm gonna be doing a lot of writing this season. Kay spews enough lies in one inning to last me months. In fact, just before I went to write this, I was flipping channels, and Channel 2, the CBS station in New York, was showing what must've been some kind of "Get Ready For Baseball Season" y*nkee special. In the 30 seconds I saw before I flipped it off, (because I didn't want to ruin what was a very good Saturday night--had a party celebrating a court case me and my buddy won against a very evil person) I saw Michael Kay interviewing Derek "I'll Do Anything To Win, ESPECIALLY Deception and Chicanery" Cheater. He was asking about Derek's '03 season, and he started kissin' butt by saying, "Despite missing sixty games, you came back to almost win the batting title." He said it as if "almost" winning the batting title was like the best thing you can do. Too bad those TWO Red Sox players finished ahead of him. So I didn't wait to see Derek's answer, as I don't need to see his stupid face. If I want to see that, I'll just close my eyes; since 80% of all baseball I watch consists of Jeter's face reacting to every single play, his face is burned into my brain.

To close, can I just say how much I enjoyed seeing A-Rod getting whapped in the face by that Matsui throw... just seeing him holding that pretty mug of his, it was just a moment of pure elation for me. My (#2) goal for this season is to see that guy get what he deserves. Physically, psychologically, whatever, I'll take it any way I can get it. I just want to see frustration on his face all the time, and I know I'll be seeing that face ALL the time. He'll get his. I'm hoping the first game of the first y*nkee series at Fenway gets rained out, because I'm going to the second, and I wanna be the first guy to scream at A-Rod. I wanna witness up close the moment when he realizes: "Not everyone in the whole world loves me. But I'm A-Rod. A-Rod, dammit!" He's gonna cry all the way home and retire after the season. Ha!


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Location: Rhode Island, United States