Thursday, May 06, 2004

Letters To My Pals

Dear John Sterling,
I've noticed that you pronounce yankee infielder Enrique Wilson's name "On-ree-kay." The "ree-kay" part is correct. Some people like to say "ree-KWAY;" so you've got that part down. But when you pronounce "En" as "On," you, sir, are speaking inaccurate Spanish. Perhaps you are thinking of the French word "Encore," which is of course pronounced "ON-kor." Mr. Wilson is clearly not French. I don't know what's worse, when someone ignorantly "Americanizes" a name, or when someone thinks they are being smart, but are actually substituting the pronunciation of one language for that of another.
I hope this helps.
Also, please stop blatantly rooting for the yankees during your broadcasts.

Dear Charlie Steiner,
You are a RADIO announcer. That means that, chances are, when your audience is listening to you describe a baseball game, they CAN'T SEE what's going on. That's why it's your job to SAY what's going on as it's happening. Maybe jot this down and keep it near you in the booth so you can refer back to it when necessary.
Also, please stop acting like you are somehow a part of the phony-ass yankee tradition and mystique.

Dear Bobby Murcer,
It doesn't seem possible that there could be an announcer who could make me say "I'd rather be hearing Michael Kay." But it is, and you are the man.
Also, please look at some colleges in your area that you might want to attend next winter. You sound like you may need some help with speaking the English language. Also, I get the feeling that if you did go to college, your major was sports medicine. Try something else this time, it can't hurt to get the old IQ up a few notches.

Dear Ken Singleton,
See letter to Bobby Murcer.
Also stop calling every ball hit to the outfield "fairly deep." I know you're just trying to cover your ass since you and Murcer obviously have no depth perception, but c'mon, enough with the fairly deep nonsense.
P.S. I realize neither you nor Murcer are play-by-by-play men. Maybe you could ask George to get a backup for those times when Michael Kay is too lazy to fly to the west coast, that way we, the audience, won't be stuck with two color commentators and no play-by-play announcers.

Dear Michael Kay,
See the rest of this blog. You'll find plenty of tips.


Dear Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto,
If you're dead, why do I keep hearing you on radio commercials doing schtick with Yogi Berra?


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Location: Rhode Island, United States