Sunday, December 05, 2004

Sham Chowder

I just read about Pavano's meeting with the yanks. Turns out I was walking around midtown Saturday at the same time as Cashman and friends were treating Carl to dinner and a Broadway show in the area. So chances are, they saw the same amount of Red Sox hats as I did. I can just see Cashman leading Pavano around, and, every time he sees a red 'B,' just grabbing Carl by the arm, turning him away from it, and going, "If you'll look over here--no, no, not there, over HERE, you'll see the wonderful Met Life Building." Then a bunch of Cashman's henchmen grab the Sox fans and push them down a side street, before giving Cashman the signal that it's okay to start walking again.

Hey, that'd be a funny sitcom. A goofy doormat of a baseball GM tries to sell free agents on his city, while getting hassled on the street by fans of both his own team and the rival team (and his overbearing boss), leading countless ball players to leave him and his choking team in the dust. I picture Cashman pulling a Norman Fell (Mr. Roper on Three's Company)-- breaking the fourth wall once per episode, with an "Aw shucks, not ageeeain" look on his face, as another free agent walks away. And of course, "The Boss" would have to yell, "Cash-MAAAN!" at the end of each episode. Oh that Cashman, he cracks me up.

In Simpsons/Arrested Development news, Simpsons was good tonight--funny when the Fox News truck went by with a big Bush sign on it, blaring "We Are The Champions." (By the way, isn't it great to hear that song on the radio now?-- Because of the Sox, not the "president.")

Arrested Development had it all tonight: That song from the Charlie Bown Christmas Special (which airs Tuesday at 8 on a network that doesn't need any help with advertising), "The Final Countdown" by Europe, a kid throwing a dustbuster at a bus, and as always, David Cross. My friend Brian just lent me a bunch of Cross comedy cds, as well as the first few seasons of Cross's old HBO show, Mr. Show. I know I'm really late on this, but if you're not into David Cross yet, go out and buy everything he's done. He's funny on Arrested Development (he plays the bald guy who made the agreement with his wife to see other people), but I hope they start giving him more lines. Usually his lines involve a swear word, which gets bleeped out, making them even funnier.

Speaking of Cross's old show, I was psyched to see Maynard from Tool on Mr. Show a bunch of times. I was really into that band for many years in the nineties and slightly beyond. I remember hearing that Maynard was on "some HBO show" back then, but since I never got HBO, I just ignored it. Now almost ten years later, I'm sittin' there watching this show for the first time, going, Oh my god, Maynard's on TV! Anyway, I bring this up because: The other day I heard a cover of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick In The Wall," or whatever it's called, by crap-churners Korn. Even though I don't like Floyd, I thought, Bands are allowed to cover this song? Then a few days later, I heard the last few seconds of what sounded like a cover of John Lennon's "Imagine." I was all ready to come on here and say, "Covering 'Imagine'? You might as well remake Taxi Driver with Ashton Kutcher as Travis Bickle!" But then I heard that it was the band A Perfect Circle who covered it. A Perfect Circle is the "other band" of...Maynard from Tool. So I went to their website, and on there, you can watch the video for the song (directed by Jerry Casale of Devo, a band Maynard named his son after). It's a great video; nice piece of commentary on our messed up society. And you can hear how their version of the song is basically a different song entirely from Lennon's version (making it okay that they covered it. Notice how I play favorites.)

And to Sam about the dirtdogs situation: I guess you're right, popularity is the reason boston.com brings bostondirtdogs.com to the internet world. I have said before that the site has its good qualities, like links to everything Red Sox. But still, it's too bad that it's considered "the" Red Sox site, considering the things that are wrong with it, and that it tries to show the world what "real" Sox fans are thinking, when we might be thinking the opposite, or, gasp, when some Sox fans have a different opinion than other ones have. Also, I will say that he gets a lot more emails than I do, like the ones from me he never responded to, so it's easier for me to respond to everyone that writes to me. Finally, you said (about other Sox fans not responding to me when I'd try to talk to them in NYC) "Or some people are just shy. I'm guessing you're not?" Well, I mostly saw stares into space, like the person truly didn't hear me over the street noise. (This was going on not on some side street, but in the bustle of midtown.) Plus, had I actually made an attempt to stop them, and start talking about the Sox, I'm sure they would've been glad to talk to me. But I was giving them a one-shot holler while zippng past, and it didn't always work out. And funny you should mention shyness. Even though I have willed myself to be able to go on stage and play guitar and sing lately, as well as do a public access TV where I'd go right up to people on the street (sound familiar?), I actually am the shyest person you know. Ask people I've worked or gone to school with, and 90% percent of them will tell you they've never heard me speak. All this "non-shy" stuff I do also usually involves me having at least one friend with me. Without them, I probably couldn't even approach people, let alone sing in front of them. However, the whole "Red Sox winning the World Series" thing is changing me, because now when I encounter another Sox fan up here in the 'burbs in a less crowded setting, like, say, while buying WS memorabilia at the store, I can go right up to them and talk Red Sox, even if I am there by myself.

Also, no making fun of me for going to midtown. Chan & I decided to just be tourists for a change. We're allowed.

Comments:
No making fun. I was in New York a week or so ago, and I passed through Midtown. If that's not one of the great places to see in this world, I don't know what is.

Actually, I don't know if you're interested, but I posted a column about New York on my blog immediately after returning home:

http://devilrays.mostvaluablenetwork.com/index.php?p=157

Needless to say, I like your city, even if I hate your city's baseball teams.

But I didn't speak to anyone in the streets (and I don't recall seeing any Sox hats). No one spoke to me, either. And I'm VERY shy: I would never DREAM of singing onstage, so draw any conclusions you like.
 

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