Saturday, March 26, 2005

The 'Crassies And The NoPros

My name is Jere and I'm a Procrastinator.

Having lived with Non-Procrastinators (NoPros) in various situations (parents, siblings, girlfriends) thoughout my life, I have been able to study this rare breed. And I have figured out that they need serious help in dealing with us--the 'Crassies. (I use that nickname for us because in invokes "craziness," which is how they see us anyway.)

So, NoPros, I give you:

Tips on dealing with 'Crassies.

1. Trust that we're gonna get things done. Our disease makes us wait until the last minute to do something. You seem to think we just "won't do it." We will do it, we just take longer than you would take.

2. Give us a deadline. If you just say "Wash those dishes," we'll plan on doing them at some point. But with no set deadline, they may take a long time to get done. We'll wait until one minute before the end of time to do it--if there's no set deadline. Here's where you NoPros drop the ball: If you want it done sooner, move the deadline up. Duh.

3. Give us warning. I know, this goes against tip number two a little bit. But when you give the deadline, don't make it too soon. We need warning. It's a delicate balance. Feel out your 'Crassy, figure a good amount of time to use on them.

4. Stop enabling us. If you continue to do our work for us, we'll only start to think we don't ever need to do these crazy tasks you come up with for us to do. (Cleaning shit, doin' stuff, etc.) Remember: Just wait, and we will get it done. Deadline approaching and job still not done? Nervous? Don't be. Just relax, we do our best work under pressure. Rest assured the work will be done by the dealine, which you should have (clearly) given. Or shortly thereafter.

Hope that helps.

I think my ten year old niece has the 'Crassy gene. The other day, her science project was due. She started the night before, got up at 5 am on the due date, changed her topic, started from scratch, and finished up. Granted, it took her til 11 am, and my sister had to drive her in to school late. But what's a couple of hours? That doesn't count as late! The point is that she did it. You know some kids in that class just didn't do anything.


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