Friday, April 15, 2005

The Thing

Something brushed against my face at work today, so of course I swung wildly with both hands. Turns out it was my boss's elderly mother. When I realized this, I figured, It's on now, and went to beat the crap out of her. After all that time, I finally figured out that she never had any intention of harming me (in fact, the brush was so light, my head didn't even move). So I didn't punch her in the face.

My boss, Mr. Newyorkmedia, has elevated me to vice president because of the restraint and, especially, class that I displayed.

(He's also very proud of me for not doing drugs at work any more.)


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Location: Rhode Island, United States