My sister used to have a friend named April Zito. That should not be Barry Zito's nickname, as he continues to stink in April. He just walked the ballpark against the yanks, and then ended his own evening by giving up a grand slam to A-Rod, his 430th career homer. How do I know how many homers he has? Because yankee announcer and audience deceiver Michael "Backwards" Kay told me--while A-Rod was rounding the bases. The usual Kay-induced nausea has set in. He and his buddies are bragging about the yankees' lineup (ie their ability to lay off pitches that are nowhere near home plate) like Steinbrenner literally has guns pointed at their heads.

So, for Zito, less than two innings, seven runs. Terrible job. I'm sure he was distracted by the huge "Pentax" ad behind home plate. At least the A's have eight innings to come back.

And at least yankee occupied territory didn't get the enjoyment of the beginning of this game, since they're all fast asleep in their beds, hoping they wake to discover that 2004 was a horrible dream.