Friday, March 17, 2006

This Guy Just Does No Wrong

It was somehow inevitable...

Pokey's Name Goes AWOL

From (scroll down):

"The Marlins continue to consider adding a veteran second baseman to replace Pokey Wilson, who went AWOL for undisclosed reasons earlier in camp and had his contract voided."

I could see "Pokey Reed," or "Petey Reese," but that's not even close. In other news, Red Sox legend Jeremiah Yastrzemski will be appearing at...

The quote of the month, and possibly the year: Last night, I was talking to Rebecca and it hit me that yankee Stadium is so close to being demolished.

"Can you believe they're going to tear it down? They're gonna just kick the crap out of the Stadium with a wrecking ball til it falls down."

"I know," she replied. Then she paused. Then, saying this as if she was thinking of each word as she said it, she came out with, "We should go to that..."

(Dunbar fans, before you get all pissy about this, remember that the place was actually demolished in 1974.)

Crazy Night

Zags win!; Mustache goes nuts and then slams ball into head repeatedly; I'm catching up to Reb's cats in the pool; good thing they picked the Orangemen because they are Orangecats; I thought they were a person, didn't know they were cats; I decided to do a Morrison lookalike with him and that cartoon eskimo from the scene in Pulp Fiction with Christopher Walken; then found out WCSG was doing one with him and Jack Black anyway; US loses; Jeter runs to clubhouse at end; not a team player; A-Rod notices this and stands in Jeter's place on top step to get airtime; plan works, as many websites show his face instead of the face of any winning Mexican; photos stolen from yahoo; yahoo doesn't know how to update NCAA pool standings; lady at work thought I was a Jewish dude named Jeremy who speaks Yiddish and just returned for from Israel; said I look Jewish; 1:00 AM; bedtime; need to restore energy for more rooting for teams way too hard for the 28 bucks they may get me tomorrow.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


I'm in an NCAA pool that's done through yahoo. (Invited by Reb.) This is my first time doing the pool virtual-style. It's kind of fun how they track everything for you and keep score. The updating is quite slow, though. I just now thought that we should have done a "Red Sox blogger" NCAA pool through one of these on-line things. Oh well. Next year, everybody's in.

Check out this video made by Adam Wade, who's the dude from ESPN Classic Now.

Finally, in me making mistakes news: I realized that getting the 60 dollar RSN card doesn't get you two tickets to a game, it gets you a chance to buy two tickets. So, not quite the value I claimed it to be earlier. But still, you can't get tickets together for any game at Fenway at this point, and I'm always down with buying more games...

Beckett was on today. A run in five innings. Good sign.

Updates And A Warning

The Red Sox actually won today. That is, the real Red Sox won. Most of the starters beat the twins, while another bunch of Red Sox lost to the Devil Rays.

Warning: When you get the 2006 RSN card--the super-duper I'm-way-more-of-a-fan-than-you 60 dollar package--they give you a month of I'd just like to warn you that when you order, your month starts immediately. So, waiting until April 3rd might be your move if you're in need of the (I already have that "worked out" so it didn't really affect me. But they should tell you that. Maybe I just didn't read the fine print.) However, part of that package is that you get to buy 2 tickets to a game from a pre-selected list. They say that they send you an e-mail within 24 hours of ordering with your chance to buy. So, that's the benefit of not waiting until April--better seats.

The Red Sox Nation Card: Pissing off Steve Silva since 2005. Get yours today!

Smarch Smadness

No matter how little I pay attention to NCAA basketball during the season, I always have fun watching these first round games. I love it when some team from a crappy conference challenges one of the top teams. All of a sudden yo've got Ollie out there runnin' the picket fence against Duke with a shot to win at the buzzer. Good stuff.

The gambling factor makes it even more fun. It's like, Wednesday: work, watch Superman II on HBO, go to bed. Thursday: work, go absolutely nuts screaming your head off rooting for South-southeastern Wyoming State, a team you didn't even know existed the day before, knowing that the fate of your three dollars lies partially in their hands. And then blaming them as if you have any right to: "Come on, SSEWSU, I know you can find better looks than that. Get your head in the game!" Oh, and then go to bed.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

In The Ring

A Red Sox Fan In Pinstripe Territory: Your only source for Lenny DiNardo in a pinstriped suit tossing a hat. (Photo by me.)

All Eyes On...

The U.S. team looks to stay alive tonight in the World Baseball Classic. While the outcomes of the game and the tournament have yet to be determined, one thing is for certain: After tonight's game, all the major news organizations will show a picture of Derek Jeter, either standing there with a distant look in his eyes, saddened over the team's loss, or celebrating with another player or players after a play he had no involvement in.

[Edit: "anonymous" just informed the game is tomorrow night. So, just read this again tomorrow, I guess. The Dominican team--there's a team whose schedule I actually know.]

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tito's Jacked Son

Terry Francona will be around for at least two more years.

Woohoo! Congrats, Tito.

(Message addressed directly to him, because, you know, he'll read this later. After the game or whatever. During his nightly "blog-crawl.")

Gyro Might Be Real

The seeecret pitch.

Hey, how come I'm seeing an ad for the new Mets channel, SNY (Sportsnet New York), on dirtdogs and on Royal Rooters? Is there local internet advertising now? Or, has there been for a while? Does the internet god know I'm in New York and give me the New York-related ads? Or is everyone seeing these?

Either way, this is one of the many reasons I don't put ads on my site.


Bronson, come on, dude. It's 5-0 in the first. A HR to our boy Hatteburg, too.

I'll just keep hoping he's hiding the "real" picthes until April.


Peter Tomarken 1942-2006

Monday, March 13, 2006

Only I Would Think Of This

The other night, Canada needed to beat Mexico or allow two or less runs in the game, win or lose, in order to advance to the second round of the WBC. Otherwise, Mexico would have advanced. This brings up an interesting point. What if Canada trailed 2-0 after the top of the ninth? At that point, they'd have been in--unless they scored two runs in the bottom of the ninth, sending the game to extra innings. Because then Mexico would have had a chance to score another run to win and eliminate the Canadians.

What would have happened in the bottom of the ninth? Mexico's only chance to advance would have been to purposely give up exactly two runs. So they could have started walking people intentionally. But then Canada could have just swung and missed at every pitch on purpose. Mexico's pitcher could have started going to his mouth, making the umpire call a ball, or whatever the WBC rule is on that. But the Canadian runners could have just ran out of the baselines. Or just forfeited the game. As a matter of fact, depending on the forfeit rule, they could have just forfeited the game before it even started. Maybe Mexico would have been credited with a 1-0 win, and Canada would have advanced. Something to (never) think about (again).

Quiz Nu Hampshire

There was some confusion withthe quizzes. Quiz Mu disappeared. Or something. So I'm moving on. I have to put some easy ones in here to get to the end of the Greek alphabet before April 3rd.

In Taxi Driver, where does Easy Andy take Travis to sell him guns? Be as specific as possible.

Pirated Material

From "Starter Jaret Wright had an afternoon to forget for New York. The right-hander was tagged for eight runs on 11 hits and a walk in three innings. He allowed at least two runs and three hits during each of the first three frames."

Also from Duffy responds to Schilling.

What happened was that Schilling hit Chris Duffy in the helmet with a fastball and later said that the kid should have gotten out of the way. I can't support Schilling on this one. What a boneheaded statement. In my mind, he now owes the kid two apologies. Terrible job, Curt.

I heard Ortiz hit one out of the stadium today. Sweet. Come home soon, David.

New Phonebooks: Here

On Friday, I came home from work to find a DHL package slip on my door. I thought, Let's see, would a 1985 Rich Gedman All-Star Game program insert baseball card require an exotic delivery sevice like DHL? No. It was a mystery. I typed in the tracking number at the DHL website, to discover which warehouse my package went through in Ohio, and which dock it landed at in Mew York. That didn't help me. This has happened to me before. What's the point of "tracking" a package if you don't know what it is? I'd rather them tell me what it is I'm getting. Once I know that, I don't need to know what state it's currently travelling through. I'm fine with a promise that it will get to me.

At some point over the weekend, I was talking about Red Sox games, and it hit me. My 10-Game Plan tickets! Of course. It's not that I forgot about them. I can assure you, I did notice that mid-Smarch was upon us, and they hadn't arrived. I was worrying that there was a mix-up with my payment or something. (Even though they always arrive in March.) But, for whatever reason, I didn't make the connection when I saw the DHL thing.

So I planned on getting up early today, calling DHL, and trying to find out where I can go to get what I now know to be a very important package. But, I slept through my alarm, and didn't have time to do much of anything before running out the door. But before I did that, I noticed a DHL truck right outside my window. There was no driver around. I waited a minute or so, and then just figured I'd missed my chance and headed to work.

As I walked toward 1st Avenue, I saw a dude moving toward the parked truck. No yellow uniform, but there was a patch on his chest. I looked closely: "DHL."

I followed him to the truck, and pulled out my notice, telling him he might just have a package for me. He opened the back of the truck, and started looking through some packages. Then he spoke.

"Expecting something from the Red Sox?"

"Yeah," I said, complete with how-the-hell-did-you-know chuckle.

Now as some of you know, I pretty much wear a Red Sox hat at all times. However, I was going to work. I had a black jacket on. No Red Sox gear visible. Is it possible that this dude is going around my neighborhood like some kind of Baseball Santa, delivering Red Sox tickets to the good little girls and boys of Manhattan?

I like to think so, actually. Maybe, besides all the Sox fans here, there are now yankee fans who have secretly decided to root for the Sox when no one's looking. Maybe that guy with the Jeter shirt and Sox cap I saw the other day was in the process of easing himself out of the closet.

Anyway, despite having a backpack on, I carried those golden tickets in my hand all the way to work like Charlie Fuckin' Bucket, planning on how I'd retain them should I get mugged or need two hands to save a falling baby*.

(The mugger would've gotten Jules Winfield's "you ain't gettin' this case, Ringo" speech from the final scene in Pulp Fiction, while the baby would've been screwed.)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Tha Mose Nolijabul Fanz Inn Bassball

All I can say about the pedestrians of 2nd Avenue today is "terrible job."

First, Chan and I passed a girl with a "2090" hat. I responded to her silent "taunt" by saying "that means nothing" to her, but she'd already passed and I don't think she heard me.

Later, it was an older man with a "1918" hat. This time I spoke a little louder, also just after we passed him. "1918 means nothing. Nothing at all, sir." He started to turn around but thought better of it.

Okay, if you're a smart Dunbar fan, will you please write to me and tell me that you are embarrassed by these people? They have to have had some type of brain injury, correct? When are these retarded people going to admit that 2004 did happen? And that the future hasn't been decided yet? You can't rub something in to someone when that thing is only a figment of your imagination. I wouldn't just go up to a person and say "Ha ha, you're going to trip and fall! Uh, at some point. In my opinion. Suck on that!" It would be highly ineffective.

I imagine the two of these people on line at a store. The "1918" guy tries to buy a gallon of milk for a nickel. "What do you mean the price changed? It used to be a nickel. I'll just pay the nickel, then. And you'll give me the milk. Now, please. What are you waiting for? It costs a nickel, you see. It will never change."

Then after he's taken to the psych ward, the "2090" lady steps up with her milk. She tries to pay with frozen urine cubes. "What do you mean this isn't valid currency. I feel that in 86 years people will buy things using human piss. So, like, why aren't you giving me the milk? I must be a-missin' something because you aren't accepting my urine-for-goods-and-services exchange."

Anyway, I turned to Chan, Dunbar "fan," and asked "Aren't you embarrased by these--"

He butted in with "I don't give a shit about this stuff. I'm out." (That's what a series of boring, bought championships will do to a team's fans.)

A quick note about the U.S. baseball team. I was about to warn of calls going in the yanks', I mean, the U.S.'s favor, and tonight, it happened before I could get the warning out there. Because they definitely want the U.S. to stay in it as long as possible. In the eighth inning of a tie game, an opposing runner was called out for leaving too early on a tag-up play. He clearly didn't. It would have been the go-ahead run. I didn't see the play live, but after reading about it, when I saw the replay, I wasn't surprised the Majors' number one cheater, Derek Jeter, was the one who took the throw at third on the bullshit play. Jeter knows the game. He was watching. He knew the guy didn't leave early. But he was right there, taking the throw and purposely deceiving the ump. Also, when I read about the winning rally in the bottom of the ninth, I thought, Gee, team with A-Rod and Jeter, I wonder if any errors or cheap hits were involved. I read the play-by-play: Infield single, error, Jeter hit-by-pitch (I didn't see it. There is a chance he didn't lean his elbow out over the plate on purpose...), and an A-Rod single that skimmed off of a couple of fielders' gloves. (I saw that on the replay. As the ball scoots between the shortstop and second baseman and the winning run scores, Jeter rounds second with a big ol' "I have done this all myself, and it was all legitimate" fist pump.) Any Red Sox fan who finds Jeter likable to any degree just doesn't watch him enough.

The funny thing is, A-Rod said about his performance, and I swear I'm not making this up, "Last year, I was the biggest goat, and today I get to be a hero. There's also a lesson to be learned, I guess."

Yeah, the lesson is, you're shitty in important games that count, and you're the "hero" in exhibition games.

More Stern stuff.

What's Up, Glitches?

Watched about two minutes of the Sox on today. I saw Adam Stern make a great diving catch. Unfortunately, while this was happening, they were showing Jon Papelbon's press conference live, so the announcers couldn't comment on the catch. I don't know about you, but I don't need to see the press conference live, escpecially if it means putting the game in a little tiny square (within the one-inch square I'm already watching the game in) and not allowing the announcers to do their job. Fortunately they don't do this during the regular season.

Then, a minute later, made my browser crash. Between that and all the buffering and the fact that it's a full minute behind, meaning I can't talk to friends and family during the game, I will be completely tortured again this season. I looked into pricing of the cable package, but that info is not available yet.

Chan vs. Me in Wiffle Ball was rained out today.

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