Friday, March 16, 2007

It's The Hair, Stupid

Everybody's favorite coke-sniffin', hair-colorin', Elaine datin', MVP-sharin' ex-Met Keith Hernandez was on fire last night. He just couldn't get over Manny Ramirez' "weight loss." I got to watch Red Sox vs. Mets on SNY last night, and Keef, currently a Mets announcer, got one look at Manny and said, "Wow, Manny's really slimmed down." This was in the first inning, while Manny was on deck. He came up to hit and Keith was back at it, completely baffled and astonished, talking about the "new" Manny. A few minutes later, he said, "not to belabor a point..." and went on about it again. Then when they were talking about the Red Sox defense, someone in the truck who doesn't know anything about baseball made the call to cut to a shot of Manny in left field. So as the announcers talked about the "headaches" (?) Manny causes, Hernandez said, "For those who don't recognize him, that's Manny Ramirez..."

Okay. Keith. Listen up. Last season, Manny wore his dreads out. Big, fat, wide, long dreadlocks. He now has them up in a baggie under his hat or helmet. This is what you're seeing. Yes, he looks differrent. But it wasn't a miracle diet. It's just that the entire top portion of his person is much narrower because his neck and shoulders aren't surrounded by a mass of Predator-like tentacles. Think about it, do you remember Manny being a fat guy?

Oh, and they even made a "Manny being half of Manny" joke. God damn that's hilarious.

He's from the Tim Mc Carver School of Thought:

No, please no!

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Location: Rhode Island, United States