Thursday, June 12, 2008

LAKERS CHOKE

All of Jere-land (me and Kim) is ecstatic over the game we just watched. And laughing our asses off at the cocky Hollywood Fakers and their phony actor and actress fans! I hope all Laker-haters will join me in celebration and loud prayer to the round-ball gods and goddesses.

The Lakers were up by, what, a thousand points in the first freakin' quarter? Van Gundy even proclaimed the game OVER in the FIRST quarter. These same announcers acted like game two was over when the Celts had a big lead in the FOURTH quarter. You'd think they would've learned that NBA teams can come back in a few minutes, so of course they can do anything given three quarters.

And they were talking about the game like it WAS over, calling it a "dominating performance." I don't know about you, but I've seen enough basketball in my life to know that that first quarter score did not show the whole truth. The Celts couldn't possibly keep missing every shot. And the Fakers couldn't possibly continue to throw up shots behind their heads and make every single one. I'm not gonna say I KNEW the Celts would come back and win, but I definitely wasn't turning the TV off. Even before halftime the Celts proved they weren't going to let the big deficit get to them.

That was really fun. I'd be happy if it was any team the Lakers were CHOKING IN THE FINALS against, but it was extra-cool that it was Kim's favorite team, and the exciting team I've followed all year.

You know, I was thinking before this series, Kobe, or "Be-Rod," as I like to call his arrogant ass, may be this great "closer" and all, and I'm not gonna say his championships were flukes or anything (even though without Shaq, I mean, come on...), but did he ever play in a Finals where he KNEW everyone was watching? This is Boston, Not L.A. Uh...I mean, this is Boston vs. L.A. Think Kobe's been thinking a little too hard on this one? Gettin' the shakes? Ah? Ah? Terrible job, Kobe. Way to disappear in the biggest game of your life! One more loss by the Yellow Yanks and it's ovah!

Also, suck it, Jack Nicholson, Wil Smith, Leo DiCaprio, Sly, etc, etc, and DONALD SUTHERLAND who likes to sit incognito. We know it's you! You're lucky you played the curator of the Springfield Museum or I'd really be pissed at you! Oh, and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (yeah, you're from Los Angeles), and SPIIIIKKKKE LLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE, eat it--you know, I only tell people I like your movies, they're really shit, hahahahahaha. Go .500 Yankees! Joba, baby! Way to wear all your Yankee gear so EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING CAN SPOT THE LOSER. Where's that Knicks uni? Hey, and if the Lakers aren't in it, you've always got the Clippers as a back-up, because it's all about you, celebs. You always WIN. You are the .. best .. people .. in .. the .. world. ...

Comments:
I'll honestly admit that I've avoided a lot of the press about the basketball playoffs this year because here's the coverage I've seen:

KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBEKOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBEKOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBEKOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBEKOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE KOBE

(and, oh yeah, those other guys and those other teams)

I *CAN'T STAND* Kobe Bryant. He's a smug jackass who got Shaq traded because he wanted to be the BIG DAWG in LA. Ugh!
 

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