Friday, December 26, 2008

What Yankee Fans Don't Understand

Well, there are a lot of things, actually. But one is that we're not jumping off bridges. If anyone did want to do that, they already did it after the AJ/CC signings. This wasn't a situation where we were equal teams who tied for the division title last year, each needing a first baseman to put us over the top. Teixeira would've been a luxury for us, whereas he's a hole filled for them. Of course I would've rather seen another team sign him? Why wouldn't I?

And how could they forget that this isn't the old days? We don't think "Oh no, another star goes to the Yanks, will we ever win a championship?" How do they not realize that in the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry, we've got the upper hand? They haven't won anything. They've just spent a lot of money, like they always do. Again, I love this new world where Yankee fans think of things like this as a "victory." There was a time when they only considered their team actually proving itself to be the best (provided, with the aid of performance-enhancing drugs, as admitted by their owner) to be a victory. Now, it's like, "Our logo's better! World Champs! Our stadium's bottled water tastes better! World Champs!"

But a thing like this Teixeira signing is the best example, because not only to they have to pretend like they've won something, they have to pretend we're upset about it. The pitching is gonna make or break each side. We've got seven solid offensive players in our lineup, they've got four. So even if it did come down to that, we've got the advantage anyway. But it won't. If we can keep Beckett healthy all year, we have the pitching that will get us to October. And the farm system to get us to the next decade. I just love how the Yanks are always one step behind us. Oh, going with young guys is the way to go, we'll try that. Whoops. We'll scrap that theory mid-stream and just throw cash at the best free agents again.

Look, Yankee people, try winning again before you open your mouths. October, not December.

[Added to this post later because I forgot before: Another ridiculous thing Yankee fans keep saying is that same old crap about "our side isn't afraid to spend the money." "We do what it takes." Are you stupid? Can't you see that whatever it is you're doing isn't winning you championships? And that what we're doing IS winning US championships?" We've clearly "done what it takes." You clearly haven't. You've done what it takes to LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE. Losers.]

[Added to that because 15-year old Yankee fans weren't around for the 86 years: When I call you a "loser," it's to rub in the fact that the Yankees haven't won since last century. Your older brethren called us that (and "chokers") on a daily basis. I shouldn't have to explain this. I'm not some young kid who thinks baseball started eight years ago and we've always won and you've always lost. I'm just pointing out to people who take great pride in their "winning tradition" that the pathetic Red Sox have been winning lately while your shitty, fake-classy team has been anti-winning.]

[A great example of how I'm the dude who gets it and I'm dealing with 15-year olds is the comment I just got telling me how I'm the one who doesn't get it because my team "was in 2nd place every year until last year." Fucking idiot doesn't remember life before 1996, and on top of it, considers 2004 a win for them because they came in first and we came in second, despite that we won the World Series. Unbelievable. (I got linked on MLB Trade Rumors, which explains the glut of 15-year old, unable to communicate beyond a broken-English text message comments. Which I'm happily not posting.)]

Not to say that particular site draws stupid people. I just meant I'm linked somewhere, and therefore, I'm getting a lot of non-regulars, including the dummies.
Hi Jere...this is a non-dummie regular (sounds like something from Starbucks). I just wanted to say that I loved your very first sentence. I laughed outloud. Great true. Have a terrific weekend.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States