Saturday, July 31, 2010

Fuckin' Fuck Yeah!

Down 2, Papi 3-run double to win it in bottom 9! I wasn't sure Youk was even gonna try to score, but Lowrie crossing the plate with fist raised let me know we were gold!

That was the type of game where I was pretty much refusing to let us lose. Outhitting them by so much, having a lot of bad luck and more missed opportunities--I was thinking of it like the '04 season, where we had a long period of crap but I knew we had a great chance to come through at the very end. Maybe this game will be a microcosm of the '10 season too!

Papi was psyched. And Tito's smile in the dugout, priceless.

The Thing. Again.

December 11th, 2008. We all sit and wait out the Red Sox' press conference regarding some kind of new uniforms or whatever. Finally, the news came out. Among other things, they unveil a new logo--a tweaked version of the old one. And it was reported widely.

A year and two thirds later, people still have no idea. I've given you several examples over these last 20 months, but today, Fox started their national coverage with OLD Red Sox logos flying all over the screen. This is pretty much the official network of the sport. How did they not get the memo? Are they like any other fool, doing a Google image search when in need of a logo? And since about 42 of the first 50 results for "red sox logo" come up with the old one, they just use it? So if we get a bunch of people to post a picture of a clown penis and title it "red sox logo," the official network of Major League Baseball would use that?

ONE MORE TIME (just kidding, I'll do this a million more times or as necessary), here was the OLD logo:



And here is the "new" (20 months is not a newborn!) logo:


And this is now officially the "secondary logo"--the socks by themselves became the "primary logo." So Fox, and so many others, are not only using the wrong logo, their using an old version of it. As you can clearly tell, this stuff shocks me.

And this is ruining everything! Because like every other logo, the old one should eventually make a comeback and be used as a retro-fasihon thing, and finally the club will begin using it again, either on retro days, or as a full re-launch. If we never even realize the logo has changed, how is it supposed to ever "come back"??? Ruining the time-space continuum! I began pining for the old on that December night in 2008, yet others can't pine because they somehow still haven't heard the news! It's like being in an alternate universe!

Some Obscure Devo Lyric That Ties In

Did you ever see the Devo/Tivo alien conspiracy video? Watch part 1 here and go through each short part.

Red Sox and Blue Cats, 4:10 p.m.

Friday, July 30, 2010

That's Just Shat Street

We're down 4-1, we give up 2 more late runs partly because of a play where Youk tags a guy out but they call him safe, and then we score 4 on a Papi grand dong in bottom 9, and then get two more runners on, only to lose 6-5. The Year of Repeated Frustration-Level Record Setting continues. Too bad Lester didn't have it tonight.

Damon wussed out and didn't play. That guys is one amp short of a DuChamp. Alternate theory: Fox paid to have his return be tomorrow for their game.

Kind of worked out for me: I gave up my tix for tonight, dumbass Damon doesn't play anyway, and we lose in horrible fashion. And I got to play softball. Went 2 for 4. So I'm a career .500 hitter in Rhode Island.

Added later: Okay, Don and Remy, and TC at the end, kept saying how the Red Sox couldn't muster up anything offensively all night until the 9th. Was I watching the same game as these people? We had runners on in almost every inning. Two or more guys on base in 4 of the first 8 innings. Why were they insisting on saying it like that? This was another missed opportunity game.

Rise And Shine, Campers

Saw Groundhog Day under the stars tonight. This is pretty much my favorite movie ever. Director Harold Ramis said that after the movie came out, he got letters from people of every religion, all saying the same thing: Your movie represents our philosophy. I'm 0% religious, but the film represents my philosophy, too: Help other people. And that's it. Not, "help other people and you get the following awesome stuff! Yay you!" Just do stuff for others, end of story. Some people say "if you give a dude a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you teach the dude to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime." Well, fine, but if you have a billion fish, just give the guy a goddamn fish, jeez. Have some compassion, fish-boy.

So for those of you who think GD is just some silly movie about a guy who lives the same day over and over, here's what it all means. You've got a man who realizes every day is the same, that nothing he does matters. This has nothing to do with science fiction and everything to do with real life. They even allude to it when Phil realizes these things about his life and mentions it to two yahoos, who then realize that that's exactly what their lives are like, too. So what does our hero do? He goes through phases. Phase one: Doesn't care anymore. Throws caution to the wind. Life doesn't matter anyway, so screw it. He has a ball. But it doesn't solve his problem--every day is still the same. Phase two: Get what you want. He uses his problem to score chicks. He is still only thinking of himself. He gets very close to getting the woman he wants, but fails. And can never even come close to what he did have with her again. He is still unfulfilled. Every day is still the same. Phase three: Take it out on someone else. It's Groundhog Day he's living over and over, so he kills the groundhog. But others are not his problem, the problem is within. Still, every day is the same. Phase four: Just forget it. He kills himself. Over and over again. He has given up. But in this case his problem is his savior, because even though he's given up, the days go on. Every morning he has a clean slate if he wants it. Even when he's made friends with the woman he wants, he knows there's no romance to be had, so he still floats through life with no purpose. Every day is still the same. Final phase: Do good for others. While floating along, influenced by the kind woman he tried so desperately and fruitlessly to seduce, the lightbulb goes off. And he finally is affected by the sight of the first person he encounters downtown every day, the frail homeless beggar. Suddenly he is improving himself, being kind to everyone, even trying to save the homeless man's life. His "day" is spent helping others. With big things, with little things. He has countless chances to seduce the same woman who is now seeing in him a good man, but he knows that's not what life is about. She has already fallen for him because of who he's become and what he does for others. And that part works itself out in the end. Having changed his life, Phil wakes up, and it's a new, but more importantly, different day. He has the girl, but the new Phil, on the day after Groundhog Day, isn't interested in what she can do for him, but what he can do for her: "Is there anything I can do for you, today?"

So that's why Groundhog Day is my favorite movie. It's more than a movie, it's a bible for non-believers.

Side note: A guy I went to high school with was there tonight. He hadn't seen me in 15 years and I knew he wasn't gonna recognize me. So I really could have gone up to him and broken into a full-on Ned Ryerson routine! "Jere! Jere Smith, Ridgefield High, 1993, bing!" I at least could have said "don't tell me you don't remember me cuz I sure as heckfire remember you..." Instead I just talked to him like a normal person, and he eventually came up with my name and we got to chat for a while. So that was good. Turns out he sells insurance now....

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Under The Rug

Was busy after work so did not see Scutaro hit his game-winning grand dong. So that sounded sweet. And HR Puff'n'stuffs for Youk, Hall, and The Exec, too. Nice. And if Beckett is really the old Beckett, we're gonna be tough the rest of the way. A sweep of the 'los, and now we finally come home.

Okay I'll tell you. I walked down the red carpet for the first time in my life tonight! It wasn't very ceremonial, just like walking through any other door. Actually, did the Red Sox World Series film at the Wang in '07 have a red carpet? Anyway that's not the point--Kim won an award from Rhode Island Monthly, so we got to go to the ceremony. It's the type of thing that warrants a live TV show in our little state. So Kim's got that goin' for her. So feel free to buy some of her AWARD-WINNING Stella Marie Soap.

Sox Win Series

Too bad we couldn't have taken just one of those last two crap-fests in Seattle--then we'd be on a 5-out-of-6.

Nice job by Lackey and Lowrie to-nite. 4-2 win. Yanks lost. Good night.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Who's The Barber Here?

Did you hear about these documents that leaked? Unbelievable.

Up At 1:30. Again.

Clay Buchholz/Dan Haren. Sounds like a German film with lots of close-ups. We win it 6-3--fine performance by HH overall.

Double dong night for Papi. His second was key, as was Drew's near-dong. Good to get some late-inning runs.

On Matsui's controversial HR, NESN had one angle. All those cameras, one angle. Maybe that camera that shows Scioscia's face after every close pitch could have shown it.

Don and former second baseman Remy criticized Lowrie for a slow turn on a double play attempt. Didn't you think Lowrie did all he could there? Scutaro should've given him the sidearm quick-throw, but instead gave him the underhand lob. So by the time Lowrie go the ball he was already past the bag, but still did all he could to get the ball to first as fast as possible. And they say it's his fault. Terrible.

I hate the warning system. They throw at us intentionally, and both teams get warned. Why don't I just shoot someone and as they lay bleeding, tell them "you better not try to shoot me, or there's gonna be trouble. Just sayin', you've been warned. I'm watchin' you..."? Then passersby could see the guy dying and say, "Look at that bloody mess...hope they warned that bastard."

A commercial during tonight's game used the line "makes a great gift for the holidays."

Another late one tomorrow night, and then you early-bird types are finally off the hook.

Monday, July 26, 2010

"Toinght...Tonight...Tonight" --That Old Guy In Twilight Zone: The Movie

It's not every day a grand slam breaks up a no-hitter. But that just happened to the Tigers' pitcher against the Rays. But the Rays' pitcher still has his no-hitter. In the 6th.

Yanks down 2-1 in the 8th.

Sox at Halos, 10-something.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Seattle Wins Series, 2-2

Pretty much the same game as yesterday. Close till bottom 8 (this time ahead by 1), then the implosion. Why didn't Oka throw to third? Why wasn't Papelbon even considered?

Gotta get our players back. Seriously.

Still Getting Stuff Inexplicably On

So a fairly recognizable donut shop has been making mixing the flavors of their frozen drinks lately. A recent web-banner ad for that company just implored me to "get my mix on." I just can't figure this out. It's 2010. A bunch of advertising execs sat in a boardroom. They said, "we've got mixed flavors here, any ideas?" And one jamoke stands up, tells the room with a completely straight face that he's been up all night on this one, and has finally come up with.... "get your mix on"!

And instead of this room of supposed professionals who constantly look at charts and graphs and focus groups, instead of rolling their eyes and watching as armed men escort the man out of the building, fired for being the very worst one could ever be at his job, all actually look at him and say, "Oh. Wow. That is perfect. I've never fucking heard that before. We have to run this god damn ad right god damn fucking now before some other god damn mother fucking person thinks of it."

Now don't get me wrong--I used to be a fan of this phrase. Dr. Dre got like 50 of his things on in "Let Me Ride"--and that was 1992! By 2000 I feel like it finally got to the point where we were all saying it about everything. But we're talking ten years after that now, and major corporations are still filling in that blank with their product name? Why don't you just put a picture of your drink or potato chips with the line "we couldn't think of anything" below it??

Red Sox at Mariners, 4:10 PM.

We Were Bound To Lose One Of These Nutty Games...

Why do we live in the world of the Bizarre Games? Tonight's weirdness: Lester's pitching a perfect game with two outs in the sixth, up 1-0. Fly ball into the gap in left-center. It looks dangerous...but Patterson cruises over, the ball hangs up a little, and he gets there...and drops the ball. Next guy: DONG. So there went the perfecto, then there went the no-hitter, shutout*, and lead. It stayed 2-1 until the bottom of the 8th, when the Ms scored on a safety squeeze, and then Delcarmen came in and cot-crapped, so we were done. 5-1 loss. Had Patterson just caught the damn ball, we could be talking about a perfect game and more imp., a win.

Yanks lost. TB won.

*Omitted by Don/Rem. I guess complete games are so rare these days, "shutout" had kind of disappeared from people's minds.

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