Saturday, November 20, 2010

Good Riddance, Texas

Worst screwjob against Nebraska since Charlie Ward Night. We lose to A&M on national TV because of an injured QB and 16 penalties called on us, 2 on them. When did Texas A&M become the Lakers? One ref finally threw a flag on A&M in a crucial spot, but they picked it up! It's not often you see a head coach go running after the refs when the game ends. Anyway, the Big 8 was ruined when four Texas teams made it the big XII back in the 90s, and I'm psyched we're done with it. Can't wait to be in the Big Ten next year. In the meantime we can still win the Big XII this year, but either way, we've played our last game in Texas. Would be fitting if we get to play Oklahoma for a shot at our last ever Big XII title.

Friday, November 19, 2010

A 22-Year Old Question

3:47 mark of this song, what does David Lee Roth say? I've been trying to figure this out since the vid was in heavy rotation on MTV in '88.

It's always sounded like "1-800-CFA-Ho!" to me. I see one site says "1-800-SEE-YA baby". It looks like he's waving at that point in the vid, so it could be "see ya, baaaaaabe, ho!" but that doesn't make sense with the song. Unless he's saying that he's cheating on this Suzy character with the other girl and he's saying goodbye to Suzy (who he seems to admire despite his eagerness to have a multi-night romance with...hey, didn't I just make fun of people who think too hard?)

Anyway, how does a toll-free number even fit in? And all this while mountain-climbing? Lil' help?

Honeymoon Over

Recently my friend told me she got a Hartford Whalers T-shirt. Cool, I said, as I am a Connecticutioner, and even though I hate hockey and didn't care about the Whalers even when they existed, I take pride in our only, albeit invisible, pro sports team.

The next thing she told me changed my world forever:

"I got it at Urban Outfitters."

So all this time, while I've been noticing Whalers shirts at Fenway and being all psyched about them and even taking pictures of them and posting them on my blog, thinking these were REAL Whalers shirts...all it's been is just another trendy thing. And I'm not some moron who confuses an old-looking "I'm a big deal in Kentucky" shirt with a real thrift-store find, but in this case, I figured since I was seeing them at a sports game, that people were breaking out their old Whalers shirts. Which I'm sure was the case sometimes, but as soon as I heard this was a new, mass-produced fashion statement, it ruined everything. Shortly after she told me that, I was at Union Station in DC and saw some college hipster wearing the Whale. Had I seen him a month before, I would have said, Cool, a CT person! Support the non-existent Whale! Instead, he was just another Whatever-year-this-is dude.

Still, it's a great logo, and part of me can't help to be happy that it's "back," even if some people wearing it probably don't know what it means. (My friend in question does, so it's cool.)

But then today, I think the whole thing officially jumped the whale. I found out the Hartford Wolf Pack hockey team announced they are changing its name. To the CT Whale! They're even gonna use the old Whalers' song (which Fenway had been keeping warm for 13 years)! November 27th, the "new Whale" officially begins play. It's funny how they're logo is like a third-grader's attempt at doodling the old Whalers' logo. I wonder what this will mean for Whalers "fans." Is this what they wanted? A new team to "kind of" take their name and pretty much pretend to be them? Will the people who bought the old logo shirt in 2010 stick with that or get the new one? Will the old, old-new, and new Whale logos all meet up once again at a thrift store in 2025? Will Chester get into the Guiness Book of World Records before he dies? All this and more on the next Who Cares.

Cardinal Connor. Where's The O?

I finally pulled* a Strasburg. It was from a pack of Topps Update. But the card right before it (coincidence?) was a variation of the same card, which instead of Strasburg shows Bob Gibson. But the weird thing is, on the back it has "St. Luis Cardinals" in that Cardinals' script font. Yes, L-U-I-S. None of the nerds online have mentioned anything about this mistake. Of course I'm hoping it gets corrected so I'll have the super-awesome error version, but even if it doesn't, terrible job on that one. (Unless they used to spell St. Louis like this at some point, like the way Pittsburgh used to not have the H. But I Googled it the Luis way and I'm not seeing any indication of that. Also, it was pretty cool to be gawking at this Gibson card, then noticing the mistake, then finally turning my attention to the next card to see...Strasburg. And then much later realizing that the two cards had the same number meaning Gibson was a variation of Strasburg.)

*Remember when you used to just say "got"? "Get any Red Sox in that pack?" "Yup, I got a Jim Rice. Oh and a Marc Sullivan."

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Okay, "police", you know we've never been best of friends, and I've criticized your tactics for years, but I have to say, I tip my cap to you on this--basically, Rhode Island State Police sent out a fake "invitation-only casting call" to their list of the 1,000 most wanted. When the moron criminals showed up at the arena in Providence, thinking they were going to be in a movie, they were arrested.

The shit-eating grin on the cop talking in the video is hilarious. Can you imagine the look on these crooks' faces when they got in there?

But like with Borat or the Jerky Boys, once the scam goes public, it becomes much harder to pull off again. I mean, they got 15 out of a thousand, and now that avenue is tapped out, although the guy said they wanted to try it again. Time to get creative, guys.

One thing I noticed was the high percentage of females who were caught with this technique. Almost half. And I bet you dollars to DOUGHNUTS that the ratio of females to males on the most wanted list is nowhere near that. I never really thought of "wanting to be in the movies" as a gender-specific dream, but maybe this proves that women are more likely to want that. So maybe for the next one, they should say it's an open tryout for the Providence Bruins or something. Or better yet, you want to get all 1,000 in there, just tell 'em you've got free lottery tickets!


The person who pitches is called the pitcher. The person who catches is called the catcher. The person who manages is called the manager. So why do we say "coach" and not "coacher"?

Full disclosure: I didn't just think of that. I was looking at old articles from the 1920s and earlier and noticed they did call them coachers. At some point, they shortened it. Why we don't say "manage," "pitch," and "catch" as nouns, I don't know.

Oh, and in one of those articles, I found this, from January 1921:
Runners missing third was "often the case"? What's up with this? Could it be that it was common to purposely go inside the bag to get home faster, hoping no one noticed? The article is about how "coachers" can play a key role in games by noticing things like this--so it's not like people were less likely to watch for it back then. I'm stumped. Maybe the runners often couldn't see the dirty base and would miss it--since everything was, you know, in black and white...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Ladies & Gentlemen, Your Omaha Storm-Chasers

Sometimes people just think too hard.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Futures At Fenway 2011 Announced. By Me!

No official press release yet, but it seems clear from the green square on the PawSox schedule, and from the only home game tickets aren't available to on the Portland schedule, that Futures at Fenway 2011 will be held on August 20th.

So here we go with Jere's fake press release:

The [add 1 from last year]th annual Futures at Fenway doubleheader presented by [some company you probably hate] is scheduled for Saturday, August 20th. Family-friendly prices and a bunch of other stuff will highlight the day's events. In game one, probably around noon, the double-A Portland Sea Dogs will take the field against Eastern League rivals the Binghamton Mets. The triple-A Pawtucket Red Sox will then square off against the Nationals' International League affiliate, the Syracuse Chiefs.

Tickets will go on sale probably on a Saturday in February, probably at 10 AM, via phone and Internet.

Fans holding tickets to 2010's Futures games, one of which was rained out, can bring their stubs for [some amount of money] off of concessions. I'd say they can use them to get discounted tickets, but seriously, how would they pull that off? Thank you.

Football Fans Also Fooled

Article in today's Times:

Army-Notre Dame Stirs Yankee Stadium’s Football Ghosts

Quote from old Notre Dame player from article:

"I have to say I’m so glad they’re going back to Yankee Stadium. That game belongs there."

Well there's one problem. Yankee Stadium was torn the fuck down. It's fucking gone. Not fucking there. Any fucking more. Here's a video of it being demolished. (If you hadn't forgotten, please feel free to watch anyway.)

Another Babka

The Red Sox now have two guys named Buchholz, while no other team even has one. If you had the field and one and a half Buchholz' lost!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Foto Fun

I got an e-mail asking me to figure out when this baseball book cover photo on the Awful Library Books site was taken. I'm always up for a detective challenge. Try to figure it out yourself and then read my answer below. (Or, for rational people, just read the answer.) (Or, for even more rational people, just skip the whole thing and go pretend to social network or something.)

Dr. Awesome's answer*:

Okay, we've got Mike Schmidt sliding safely into home, with Gary Carter holding the ball. Clearly the game is at Veteran's Stadium in Philadelphia. The book came out in 1982. Notice Carter's red and blue sleeve stripes. The Expos didn't add that to their uniform until 1980. So we know this pic must be from '80 or '81. Before even starting to search the usual literature (Roylance Guide, Tobin's Spirit Guide, Spates Catalog), it hit me that the Phillies played the Expos in the 1981 Eastern Division NLDS. The higher profile the game, the greater chance of documentation. So even though we can't see any definitive physical evidence of this being a playoff game, we can gather that if a photographer is at a Phillies-Expos day game, she or he is probably there for a reason. As are all those fans. And a cover photo for a 1982 baseball book? The previous season's playoffs is the perfect candidate.

So you can try to find evidence of this play happening in the regular season in '80 or '81 (opening weekend '80 is a candidate), but I'm putting all my money on the '81 playoffs.

Now to find which game--Schmidt scored a run in Game 3 and two in Game 4. You can eliminate his home run in Game 4, leaving us with a run he scored from second on an error by the pitcher in Game 3 in the 7th, and a run he scored from second on a single in Game 4 in the third. The first one is less likely, but it still could be the play...until you realize that Game 3 was a 4:05 game (had to get this from news searches). Sunset in Philly that day was 6:30. The game went two hours and forty-five minutes. At that point in the game, it would have been close to dark. You'd see light reflections and people would be more bundled up (got down to 38.8 degrees that night per Old Farmer's Almanac weather history). Game 4 was a 1:05 game and the play happened in the third inning. Ground ball single to right, Schmidt's on second, Rose scores ahead of him, and he goes sliding into home before Carter can make the tag. A check on the home plate umpire--it was Bill Williams that day. There's one picture of him online, and the sideburns/hair match. (Game 3 was Bruce Froemming--I'd say this is not him in the picture.)

So here's your game: Game 4, Eastern Division NLDS, Saturday, 10/10/1981, bottom of the third inning, approximately 2:00 p.m. eastern daylight time, Keith Moreland singles to right off Stan Bahnsen. (The left fielder was Terry Francona.)

Thanks to Sabrina for the challenge!

*I need a nickname for my baseball photo detective persona. Until I come up with one, we'll go with Dr. Awesome.


I was jut reading about Q*bert. One thing I never realized in all these years is that the name is a combination of "cube" and "Hubert." They basically took a name with the "ube" sound, and put a C in front of it to cubify it. But since they took it one step further and spelled "Cubert" as "Q-bert," any sense of the word "cube" was lost on me. But Jere, the board is made up of cubes! Sorry, I always thought of him as jumping from "square to square." If they called it Squarold maybe I would have gotten it. But judging by their naming tendencies, they would have changed the spelling to throw me off the trail.

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