Saturday, February 19, 2011


Got my first gray today. This year's tickets look like last year's, except the top photo is a "Fenway Great," and lists the years that person was with the team and their position. The two I got in this envelope were Tito and Joe Cronin. Funny how there's no room for "Mgr.", so they just put "M" for Terry. Cronin is listed as an "SS." I'll let you make your own joke there. (I also tried twice to make a video of me opening the envelope, but I kept effing various things up and finally said ess it."

Nebraska basketball with a huge upset! Saw the end on ESPNSomething. Capped off the awesomeness of buying and receiving Red Sox tickets on the same day. (And as the crowd swarmed the court, you could see a hand-written sign carried by a fan that said "Texas is Dumb.")

And finally, we as a society love watching attempts at cleaning up curse-filled movie scenes. But this one takes the confection, between a bad cut and a terrible job replacing the swears.

What's Currently Up With: The 2004 Red Sox (Part 2 of 3)

Ricky Gutierrez: He's back coaching his Miami high school's baseball team--the American Patriots.

Adam Hyzdu: Was playing in Japan in 2007. That's the latest info I have. Please contact me with any sightings.

Bobby Jones: Played in the minors through '06, and either he or the other Bobby Jones was fired from a New Jersey high school in '07. In other words, I got nothin'. And any info I find could be the wrong Bobby Jones. So we're just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Richie.

Gabe Kapler: Currently picking up trash. But he's the champion of picking up trash! Signed a minor league deal with the Dodgers last month.

Byung-Hyun Kim: Will be pitching in the Japanese Pacific League this season.

Curt Leskanic: This man should have near-Dave-Roberts status, I still don't know why he doesn't. Anyway, he was scouting for us for a while. Is he still? I couldn't determine that.

Derek Lowe: Still kickin' butt with the Braves.

Mark Malaska: Hasn't played ball since '05. I guess he's back in his hometown in Ohio. But don't quote me on that.

Anastacio Martinez: Pitched for the Calgary Vipers last season. That's independent ball, ma'am/sir.

Pedro Martinez: Will try to catch on with somebody in the second half this year.

Sandy Martinez: Manager of the Nationals' affiliate in the Dominican Summer League. (If you believe an uncredited line on Wikipedia.)

Dave McCarty: We all remember his NESN work. Don't know if he'll be on there in '11. I wanted to avoid "I don't know"s on this list but I'm clearly failing.

Ramiro Mendoza: I think Michael Kay is still jerking off to this guy. Retired in 2009.

Doug I guess he's working for CBS Sports, but while researching it, I found this awesome video of a basketball announcer falling asleep during a broadcast. And that's the important thing here, right?

Kevin Millar: Does all kinds of broadcasting work. And were he to desire a cold beverage in my presence, I would provide the currency necessary to obtain it.

Doug Mirabelli: Looking for a home in Traverse City, Suttons Bay, Williamsburg, Lake Leelanau, or Elk Rapids? Doug Mirabelli is your man.

Lottery Results

VWR opened up around 11:44. Got through at 12:10. My mom and I actually both won this choice lottery. So out of the 2011 Cubs games and the Yanks games, I got the two that I wanted. So I'm really happy.

Friday, February 18, 2011

1st Pack of '11

I bought a pack of Topps 2011 baseball cards today. My first pack of the year. And it was pret-tyyyy...pret-ty...pretty... good.

Stone Cold Crazy

While doing some research for my little Where Are They Now Project, I noticed a Dan Shaughnessy article from last Sunday which contained this line:

"[Number 28] was worn by lunkheads Steve Crawford, Jeff Stone, and Doug Mirabelli."

One of the things Dan has been criticized for is the time he made fun of Jeff Stone for being, supposedly, mildly retarded. I really don't know the exact history of that, nor do I have his exact quote. But even in the absolute best-case scenario for CHB--which would be that he never said anything at all and it's a complete fabrication--do you think it's a wise move for him to call the guy a "lunkhead"? I don't. It almost seems like he's doing it on purpose to prove a point or something. I don't know what's going on in that guy's head.

By the way, if you're too young to remember the 1990 pennant race, look into this Jeff Stone guy. (And Tom Brunansky if you haven't gotten that far yet.)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

What's Currently Up With: The 2004 Red Sox (Part 1 of 3)

Terry Adams: I really have no idea. After spending the 2006 at Indianapolis (Pirates' AAA team), he disappeared, at least from the Internet.

Abe Alvarez: After pitching in Italy in 2009, Abe is back at his old college, Long Beach State, as the "Undergraduate Assistant Coach." Though the Long Beach State teams are called the 49ers, the baseball team seems to be known as the Dirtbags.

Jimmy Anderson: This dude pitched in 5 games for us before being cut in July. He was with 5 organizations after that, but never appeared in another major league game. Last we heard from him was Albuquerque, 2006.

Bronson Arroyo: In the last three seasons, Bronson has HIT as many home runs as Wily Mo Pena has--in fewer at bats!

Pedro Astacio: Well this is interesting. A blurb on his Wikipedia page says Pedro has applied for Pakastani citizenship so he can compete in the "National Jai Lai Championships." Other sites have picked up this tidbit, but I can't find any other info about it, or even if the NJLC exists. Considering "Lai" should be spelled "Alai"--therefore making it the "NJAC"--I'd say this is a crock of shit. (Should we correct the spelling--and the acronym--on that page? Don't know what do do here....)

Mark Bellhorn: He was still on the Sox in '09. The Colorado Springs Sky Sox. Did not play in 2010. I think he's got another season in him, what about you?

Jamie Brown: Last we (society) heard of this guy, he was playing for the LG Twins in Japan in 2008.

Ellis Burks: Was an assistant with Cleveland through 2009, but was laid off after that season. He's probably focused on seeing his son make the bigs now....

Orlando Cabrera: Just signed a deal with the Indians.

Frank Castillo: Was pitching in independent ball as late as 2008, and two months ago became assistant pitching coach for the Cubs' Rookie League team in Mesa, Arizona.

Cesar Crespo: My Spanish is a little rusty, but he appears to still be playing in the Puerto Rican AA league.

Johnny Damon: Next....

Brian Daubach: Will be managing the Hagerstown Suns this year.

Lenny DiNardo: In Fort Myers right now--and not just because he lives there. Lenny's back with the Red Sox, after signing a minor league contract this winter.

Andy Dominique: Runs "Andy Dominique's Big League Skills & Drills" in Reno, and is a hitting instructor for the U. of Nevada softball team.

Alan Embree: Ol' Captain Cheese threw 6 games for the Charlotte Knights last season, after attempting a comeback with the Red Sox and spending some time at Pawtucket.

Keith Foulke: Last pitched for the Newark Bears in 2009--after that, I don't know. I assume it involves hockey.

Nomar: Will be doing ESPN's Wednesday Night games in 2011, along with Baseball Tonight appearances.

More From The Laughing At Technology Series

Last time I was visiting my friend Chan in NYC, he was excited to show me this new way to play Scrabble. Now, we've all been playing Scrabble in electronic form for years, and that's pretty cool, especially if you're by yourself. But this new way, made for the iPad, well, this was gonna revolutionize the sport.

You see, the iPad plays the part of the Scrabble board. And me with my iPod touch (I still do not own a cell phone), and Chan with his, those would be the Scrabble racks. Once we've downloaded the proper app, of course.

So we sat there, each dragging our "tiles" off of our little screens onto the "board" on the big screen. Then we'd drag them from the edge of the board to the board itself in the right order. Sometimes we'd lose the connection. After a series of maneuvers, we'd get it back. But most of the time, we'd sit there trying to fix some electronic issue, just to get the game going again. So we had racks of tiles in our hands, and a board sitting in front of us...but we couldn't play. We couldn't help but laugh at ourselves. There's got to be an easier way!

(At this point the average 18 year old says, "Well yeah, get this special i-something and then i-something it to your i-something...." No! You get a REAL board and REAL tiles and play the damn game!)

I'm not some guy who's afraid of technology, I just wonder a lot whether we're doing this stuff because we need to or even want to, or just because we can. Once again, my motto: "Technology is great...but it's ruining everything!"

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Just got my winning e-mail--chance to buy Red Sox-Cubs tickets! (Or Yanks tix including opening day, but Cubs is my most desired series as they haven't been to Fenway since 1918.) Just so you know, I don't have any kind of tricks with these lotteries--I just put in my one entry and hope for the best, and I usually remind my mom to do the same. I think she's won a lot more than I have.

And also, please note: being psyched to see Cubs-Red Sox does not mean I'm a fan of Interleague Play. I don't think Red Sox games vs. a team of eskimos in dogsleds should count in the standings, but if they did that, I'd be there, nome sane?

Anyway, hope you all got lucky, too.

Wake & Adrian Golf Tonight

Tim Wakefield and Adrian Gonzalez will be joining TC and Gammons on Red Sox Live tonight on NESN. And, of course, golfing. I'm predicting Wake moves into first place tonight.

Note to contest winners: Okay, so Dave gets the tickets, Peter's getting some cards, and Sec. 36 and Ryan will be getting magnets. Peter and Ryan, I have your addresses. And Dave and Sec. 36, I will need yours so I'll be contacting you.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Head/Dead/Red (Motorhead/Live Vs. Dead/Andy & Red...Get It?)

1. The Lemmy documentary is pretty good. I had no idea the guy is basically just another Hollywood local, who happens to be a living legend. Dude just sits there playing slot machines and trivia machines all day. Then goes up on stage with Metallica, then right back to the games. All while somehow drinking and smoking for like 60 years without dying. It's been playing on VH1 Classic and Palladia.

2. We watched the first night of Jeopardy!'s week with the computer playing against humans. I'm so confused as to how this thing comes up with answers, even though they gave detailed explanations. "Watson" started off on fire, jumping out to a lead. But then it started choking! One answer was something like "a gymnast won a gold on the parallel bars with this disability" and the thing says "what is 'leg'?" Come on, Watson, get your microchip in the game! Then it answered the same incorrect answer that was just said by one of the humans--twice. This thing is as big as an entire room and they couldn't program it to not say what was just said? That *elementary* rule would be the first thing I programmed. It's kind of like when my friend, a Sox fan, went through a dating service and was matched up with a Yankee fan. If they can't get Yankees-Red Sox right, who knows what else they've fucked up on.

3. The Shawshank Redemption is on every night this week on AMC! Kim: "Jere, we have it on DVD." Jere: "But it's on every night this week." AMC seems to have their finger on the pulse of me lately, much like IFC does. They're celebrating Taxi Driver's 35th anniversary, and have been doing week-long movie fests of things like the Rockys and The Godfathers.

Monday, February 14, 2011

2011 Month-By-Month Outlook: August

We start by sweeping 4 from Cleveland, because I want to have a 4-game sweep in 2011 somewhere. Then we take 2 of 3 from the Yanks. Lose 2 of 3 in Minny and Seattle. Back home to sweep 2 from Tampa, then back out to KC where we split 4. Then we split 4 in Texas. Back home for Oakland, we take 2 of 3, then split the last 2 games of the month vs. NY.

17-11 in August. 88-48 heading to September. .647 baseball. (I effed up the total record a few months back, and it's been running 10 wins behind! But I fixed the math. Okay, 12 more wins for a hundred, we shall see what September brings....)

Sunday, February 13, 2011


Hard to believe Henry Rollins is 50 years old. Or...maybe it's not that hard, he's always been mature and manly....

If you don't know Henry beyond his now ubiquitous voice-over work, I recommend you start with the "Get in the Van" album, which is Hank reading his old diary from when he was the singer for Black Flag in the early 80s.

An awesome Rollins quote that I'd never read until just now. His opinion on strip clubs:

"If you have to go into one of them, first, you are afraid of women, and second, you hate them."

Preach on, brother Beavis.

2011 Month-By-Month Outlook: July

In the spirit of "not milking this into a week's worth of blog posts," I'm gonna keep spitting these things out whenever I feel like doing a new one. So here's July:

Take 2 of 3 in Houston. Back home for a 3-game sweep against the Jays, then take 3 of 4 from the Os as we head to the break. Sweep 3 in Tamper, then lose 2 of 3 in Balty, because we wanna see the Os have some kind of success at some point. Back home to sweep the Mariners, then we take 3 of 4 from KC. Then we lose 2 of 3 at Chicago to close out July with a 19-7 month. 71-37 as we head to the prov. canine days of August.

Was funny watching Tito and Bard golfing live in Fort Myers tonight on NESN. Baseball's a comin', emmer effers....

2011 Month-By-Month Outlook: June

Loss to close out White Sox series. 2 of 3 vs. Oakland. Lose 2 of 3 in NY. Win 2 of 3 in Toronto. Lose 2 of 3 in Tampa. Sweep the Brewers and Padres for a 6 for 6 homestand. Sweep in Pittsburgh. Lose 2 of 3 in Philly. That key 9-10 game win streak gives us a 16-9 June, and 52-30 record through June.

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