Saturday, October 06, 2012


After a month of being a default Orioles fan, we get to do it all over again, as they'll be playing the Yanks in the ALDS starting Sunday night. This series is obviously way more important than winning the division, O's, so please, don't fuck around, and that means no Endy Chavez in the batter's box.

What a crazy whack funky scene in Atlanta tonight. Seemed like a shitty call, but what some people probably don't realize is that umpire made that call to help the offense. That's what the infield fly rule is for: not letting the defense get a cheap double play. That ump waited and waited, and once he saw that shortstop's arms go up (which in his mind meant the player is now calling for, and waiting to catch, the ball), he basically said to the fans, "Fear not! No defender shall make a mockery of this great game! I shall grant them an out so as they do not taketh two...." And it backfired all over his face. Of course one could argue that it was basically a fly ball to the outfield and that the ump shouldn't have been thinking infield fly, but as long as an infielder's involved, he's gotta treat it as an infield pop-up. I guess.

Friday, October 05, 2012

Goodbye, 2012 Red Sox

I finally uploaded those videos of the Red Sox leaving Fenway Park after the last home game. Here they are in playlist* form. All ten short vids will play in a row, in the order these guys came out. Note how Jeremy Kapstein greets everybody. As I said before, we did this thinking the rookies would be in drag, but I found out a few days later they did it after the next series, leaving Baltimore on the way to New York. Watching them on this night caused my mom and I to miss running the bases, but it was still fun to see everybody one last time, and, I'm going to be taking swings on the field anyway, so it worked out, although my mom got the shaft there. But she'll get to watch me hit up close in an empty Fenway Park under the lights....

*If the playlist is too annoying, just go to my YT channel and pick the ones you want to see.

Thursday, October 04, 2012

The Producers, Volume 10

Keep watching on this one--we watch as the producer has to make a split-second decision on whether or not to tell his cameraman to follow Jeter at this pivotal moment in the observing of the game from the dugout while doing nothing and not being talked about.

Of course, you know what the decision was. Even an obstructed view of Jeter doing nothing is worth a 7-second shot.

NESN really came through in this series, giving fans looks at Jeter doing nothing in every game. Then there was Remy after the Yanks clinched talking about how Jeter was reacting the exact correct way. It never ends with this guy. (Allan and tim over at Joy of Sox also informed me that Dishonest Abe tweeted about hoe the Yanks' celebration was "how the pros do it." I would love it if that douche went back to covering the Yanks where he belongs.)


As you know, my girlfriend Kim is s soapmaker. After a few years of selling at markets and online, she's finally making the move to an actual store. It's been a fun ride painting the place up and getting it ready and stuff. It opens tomorrow! Kim has done yeowoman's work in making it all happen from scratch. She was on The Rhode Show this morning, all the info is there. Check it proverbially out.

[Edit: as soon as I posted this, I got an e-mail from the Red Sox to season ticket holders, telling me Bobby Valentine has been fired. I wanna give Kim SOME top-of-page exposure, so I'll just leave this here.... Even though I don't know what else the guy could have done (the whole fucking team was injured and the starting pitchers just stank to high heaven), I still in general would prefer pretty much anybody else as I always found him to be an extremely odd man who is on drugs and has a touch of the phonies, so I can't be too sad about it. Gotta start fresh in '13, I guess.]

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Good Run

The O's gave it a shot, and pushed the Yanks to game 162. But it's over, as they lose to Tampa. So it turns out even a Sox win in NY tonight wouldn't have mattered. The Yanks win the division and will play the O's-Rangers play-in game winner, while the A's and Tigers will meet in the other ALDS. It stinks that Yankee fans get another division, but remember, they always have multiple contingency plans in case of a loss where they'd act like they somehow won. Because that's what extremely insecure neanderthals do. (And it's no coincidence those people end up Yankee fans.)

Actually it was very nice of the Yankee fans to break out the Who's Your Daddy? chant tonight, just to give us warm reminders of the time they used that chant in the 2004 ALCS and then promptly saw our team clearly become their daddy by whooping their fuckin' asses in four straight, completing the worst collapse in baseball history, the likes of which had never been seen before and haven't seen since. It's always awesome to be reminded of that chapter of their and our teams' histories. So thanks for that, guys. We needed that on a night like this.

Dream Lived

Holy crap. The A's (once 13 games out of first) and Rangers played game #162 for the west title today. Texas went up 5-1. But in the 4th, Coco Crisp's key 2-out double tied it up. The Rangers then thought they were out of the inning, though, with a lazy fly to center. But Josh Hamilton dropped the ball! Two runs score and the A's go up 7-5.

It stayed close till the 9th when the A's blew it open. 12-5 lead a's I type. I'm callin' this one.

Can't say I'm too upset about Hamilton failing at the biggest moment of the year.

Wow these A's fans really go nuts. I don't watch SportsCenter or live in California so I admit I was absolutely clueless about this metal-tactic dance thes people all do.

Producers 9: Contest

Anyone who can tell me what necessitated the Red Sox network showing an 8-second closeup (with dramatic slow zoom) of Jeter doing nothing in the dugout while not being talked about will receive the sum of all (all) the money in the world.


The excitement was back tonight, and it almost went all our way. But not quite. For what seemed like a week, the Sox and O's were both ahead by a single run. The O's held on for a 1-0 win, around the time the Sox were going to the 9th. Lester and three relievers combined to give up no earned runs. It was 2-1 and I asked the Sox for just one insurance run. I got it, as Loney led off with a dong. Turns out I should have asked for more. Bailey came in for the bottom of the 9th, and we were all ready to celebrate the O's tying the Yanks for the division lead with one game left. But Bailey shat all over our faces. Single on the first pitch, dong to the second batter. Tie fucking game.

The Yanks then loaded the bases with one out, and Bailey was replaced by Melancon to face Teixeira, who had ended three previous innings, twice on double plays with a man on third. Again, he failed, hitting a weak fly to shallow center. Cano grounded out, and it was headed to extras. So despite blowing it, we still had a chance. We got some guys on, maybe could have scored, didn't. At one point in some high-numbered inning, A-Rod hit a two-out fly ball to deep left-center that would have easily scored the winning run. But Ellsbury ran it down at the wall, ending the inning, and, I imagine, sending the Orioles into a state of euphoria wherever they were.

In the 12th, Miller had two outs, nobody on, and an 0-2 count on the villain from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Francisco Cervelli, who hadn't seen action in quite some time. The waste pitch went to the backstop on the fly. Okay, Cervelli doesn't know what to think now. Blow him away and let's move on. But no. Three balls later, he was on first. Miller walked the next man on four. Ibanez, whose dong tied the game, then hit a seeing eye single in the great Yankee tradition (They outhit us by a lot tonight on paper, but in reality most of the hits were Jeterian--they scored their only run before the ninth on Iglesias' error, which I later was shocked to find out wasn't there, because it was incredibly scored a hit. The run was unearned due to an earlier error, though.) which scored the run, and game was over. 12-inning 4-3 loss.

So the lead is still one. We've got one more chance to spoil tomorrow night in game 162, provided the O's win their game. Then it would be a one-game playoff for the division. We'll see what happens. Still itchin' for Yankee misery.

I just noticed the A's beat Texas. Crazy. So they play one game to see who's in the ALDS, and who has to play a one-gamer to get there. And look at that--it's an afternoon game! 3:35, that's one to watch.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

161st Street/Game

Well, the Rays are dead. So hopefully the O's can get an easy W and force game 162 to be meaningful, whether it's with a chance to win or just go to a tiebreaker. The more the Yanks get pushed, the worse it will be for them in the playoffs.

So we gotta get that O's win. And the Red Sox have Ellsbury and Pedroia back tonight, with Lester on the mound. We face Phelps, replacing shitty "does not go" Nova. We can do this. Would be really sweet if it's a tie going into #162 but I will settle for it meaning something.

And the A's still have a shot at the west title. A win late tonight means they go into the final game tied with the Rangers.

Producers 8: Walk, Score, Get Shown Doing Nothing 10 Minutes Later

The Red Sox TV network eases your worries: Jeter is still alive and well.

Really Vindicated

At some point last year I became obsessed with society's use of "really?" (Alternate version: "Seriously?") It was pissing me off. Every commercial (TV, radio, print, Internet), every movie trailer, every headline, every comment on every website, every person was saying it as if they thought they were the first to use it. I flooded my friend Amber's inbox with examples, to the point where she had to ban me from doing it. I made a list of companies that used it. I stopped counting at fifty. I wrote long drafts for this blog about the R word (and S word) but I spared you, the reader, my rants on the "Really-volution." (I did have one "outburst" in August of last year, and I had another time when I saw a bunch of commercials in a row that used R or S and was YouTubing them--companies were forcing it to the point where middle-aged men were talking like 13-year old girls. And several times I went off on fellow redditors for over-Really-ing only to be told I need to lighten up or whatever. It got to the point where any video I'd watch I'd just be waiting for an R or an S bomb to drop and get all pissed. (1:45 mark of video at that link, that was from last holiday season.)) Even the other night at Fenway somebody had R on a sign, and I almost posted it and told my whole R/S story, but I again spared you:

Boy did I wanna go over and smack that guy. He would have said, "What, I'm just pointing out the shitty win-loss record!" And I would have said, "It's not that, it's your 'really?' in 2012!"

Anyway, just now my friend Chan sent me an article from The New York Times:

Vindication! I am not crazy after all! This is finally out in the open. Maybe now it will end.

I had traced the R usage back to at least "Really? with Seth & Amy" from SNL which had been on in the mid 2000s. (This is mentioned in the Times article, too.) That got the ball rolling, but the Verizon ad where stuff is happening to people who are missing it because they're looking at their phones, leading to people asking them "really?" over and over, I think was the moment that the whole nation had gone cRazy. (The earliest commercial I remember that used it was the one where a man keeps trying to talk to his wife but every time he tries to talk, a jackhammer starts outside, leaving him to finally drop an incredulous R? on the situation.) (And yes, Cartman on South Park was saying "seriously you guys..." way before this but that's a slightly different usage.)

And then at some point last baseball season at Fenway I realized that every time someone would talk near me it would be an R and S barrage. That's when I started making lists and stuff, taking it to the weirdness level. I'd have to hold my tongue any time one of my friends (who knew nothing of my obsession) would shoot out an R or release an S. I went on annoying Amber and Chan and Kim about it though, to the point where they'd occasionally let an R fly and have to kind of sheepishly look at me knowing they'd just broken my heart, while also undoubtedly thinking Yeah I said it, so fucking what, leave me be...

But what was it that pissed me off about it all? It was the overuse, of course, but also the way it would be used as a lazy alternative to real thoughts. I'd see headlines like "Man Finds Alligator In Basement--Really?" And I'd think, "your headline should just say what happened. Let the audience react." It's just bad writing. (There's also the statement form. At one point I saw two different headlines about the same story--remember the "zombie awareness" thing? One was "CDC promotes zombie awareness. Really." The other was "CDC promotes zombie awareness. Really?" I was just so mad that people either felt the need to let us know they were serious (you know, as if headlines were often a place for practical jokes--"no, not REALLY, we were KIDDING about that headline!") or were asking if I was serious, again, as if I just constantly speak the opposite of what I mean. But then I thought, Wait, we've always been like this. I've been saying "Are you kidding me?" when I know the person is serious my whole life! There's also "are you shitting me?" and "what?" and "yeah right" and "suuuure" and lots of other ways to say "I am shocked at what just happened" which imply the situation is so preposterous that there must be someone behind it pulling the strings, waiting to pop out and say it was all a joke. "It" meaning anything: the way Robinson Cano just loafed it, the way that guy just said he doesn't think Jimi Hendrix was that talented, the way ALex Baldwin cuts off another Alex Baldwin's tie, the way I just stubbed my toe on the SAME chair twice in ten minutes.

So I didn't need to be mad about the fact that people seemed to be in constant disbelief, because we've apparently always been like that, whether it was warranted or not. I just have to deal with the fact that "are you kiddin' me?" has been overtaken (though any time I hear it, I yell with joy, "Going back to the classics! Woohoo!"). But I can still be pissed when I see it written ahead of time. Movies, TV, ads, etc. Because it's lazy and it's overused. At least I've finally got an actual news source sharing my frustration.

So that's that. I'm finally officially out of the Really Closet here. In a way it kinda stinks that I never did my long post and the Times beat me to it, but I'm okay with this, since I left all those clues above.

Where does a Really Sufferer go from here? I could go a lot of ways. I've done the "walk-off" thing and the Egregious Jeter shots (saw one tonight! Will post tomorrow!) thing...I think the next god damn-sel in distress waiting for me to come in and sweep it off its feet is "woah." That's right, the Internet has decided "whoa" is now spelled "woah." And I don't like it. I'm off to save it! I'll see you back here in six months! Away!

Monday, October 01, 2012


Tonight's games seemed void of emotion. After a month's worth of exciting games, the Yanks took a one game lead with two to play on a rather boring night of baseball. Buchholz gave up three dongs in an inning, and Aceves came in to give up the 4th. An early 9-run inning and you could turn that game off. Meanwhile the Orioles could do nothing against Cobb, and even though it was only 1-0, the game flew by and it never felt like the O's were in it. They finally tied it (on a home run right to that spot where Longoria hit his last year--yet the Rays announcers mocked it for being cheap), but then Manny Machado made an error on the easiest of all ground balls to start an inning and it led to a bunch of runs. The O's finally showed some life in the 9th, cutting to 5-3 on a catwalk dong and then getting two men on with none out, but the next two went down, and for some reason Showalter pinch-hit with Endy Chavez. No, not for Endy Chavez. That's right, some poor sap was due up and was told, "I'd rather have Endy Chavez hit than you with the game on the line with the division tied and three games left." I was so proud of Endy for actually hitting a ball that reached the pitcher's mound! Yayyy! Game fucking over. O's lose.

Gonna be tough now, and the O's can't rely on Magic--they need the Red Sox to come through at least once here. Crazier things have h'd.

I see the A's are up 3-2 in the 5th. If they can hold on, the Rays will be dead which will make the Orioles' job presumably a little easier.

Tigers won the central. Cabrera looking good for Triple Crown.

Outlook Hazy

With three games left, no American League divisions have been clinched. Should any of those races end in a tie, there will be a 1-game playoff to determine the champ. Here's what the hell is going on:

Detroit leads Chicago in the central by 3. So any Tigers win or White Sox loss makes the Tigers division champs (they'd be the #3 seed) and eliminates the White Sox from the playoffs entirely. Should they end up tied, the 1-game playoff will be in Detroit. (The White Sox had been in first for most of June, July, August, and September, up by 3 games as late as September 10th--they now find themselves further back than they'd been since late May. The Tigers had been as many as 6 out of first, in mid-June.)

Texas leads Oakland in the west by 2. As soon as Oakland wins 1 more game (or Tampa and the Angels both lose 1 game), we'll know that either they or Texas will be one wild card and either the Yanks or Baltimore will be the other. The A's and Rangers play each other over the next 3, so they can't end up tied for the division. (The Rangers have been up by 2-6.5 games since April 13th. The A's were as many as 13 games out, at the end of June.)

And of course the Yanks and O's are tied, so whoever wins more over the last 3 is the champ. If it's tied after 3, the tiebreaker game will be in Baltimore. (We all know how big the Yanks' lead was on the entire division in July.)

In the National League, a bunch of teams will play and I'd say half of them will win while the other half will lose.

Obviously I don't really give a crap about any of this except getting the Yanks to lose. Red Sox have to come through for us tonight. Sox/Yanks, 7:05. HH vs. CC. O's/Rays, 7:10. Chen vs. Boston native Cobb. I would have loved it if Tampa was dead going into this series, instead they cling to life, but can be eliminated tonight.

I Was Approved

Every Red Sox fan's dream is to take a swing at Fenway Park and try to hit, or hit one over, the Green Monster. That is, every right-handed hitting Red Sox fan. I throw right, but I bat left. In that dream where I'm at bat at Fenway, I never know what to do:

Turn my body 45 degrees to the left so when the pitch comes in I can still whack the ball straight ahead toward left field? That would be like a magic trick, the ball somehow serpentining around my front shoulder like a magic bullet.

Suddenly learn to go the opposite way with power? I'm a dead pull hitter--I can use my bat to put a ball in any spot in the outfield, provided that spot is to the right of center.

Just swing normally and hit low line drives over the second baseman's head? Well, I can do that on any Little League field in the country, you don't need Fenway to do that.

Of course it doesn't really matter...unless the team e-mails you as a season-ticket holder giving you a chance to take five swings at Fenway Park. Which is what happened this morning. Yes, I actually made the cut--as I've said before, as a 10-game plan holder, I'm only sometimes treated as a true season-ticket holder. But this season they obviously need to please as many people as possible.

So, provided I can make it to Fenway on one of the pre-determined days, which isn't certain, I have to make "the decision." And here it is: Pesky's Pole. It's the closest home run distance in all the majors. I can pull the ball like I naturally do, and if I can hit that one exact spot--too far left and I'm looking at 380 feet, too far right and it's a mere foul ball--I can actually say I hit a home run at Fenway Park. But wouldn't a better tribute to Pesky than hitting his pole be a solid single to right-center? I'd be happy with that.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Like I Said, There Was A Long Way To Go

Jays were up 5-1, gave game away. No credit goes to those asshole Yanks. O's won. We'll have to settle for a tie atop the east going into the last 3. Red Sox, now you can start playing ball again, starting Monday night in The Bronx, as the O's go to Tampa to face the Rays, who are clinging to life.

The Excitement Continues

Lawrie just hit a mammoth 2-run dong to give the Jays a 4-1 lead over the Yanks in the 5th. Holy shit.

Red Sox helping out by doing what they do best, it's 5-0 O's.

O's in position to take sole possession of first. A long way to go here though.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

My Photo
Location: Rhode Island, United States